It's starting... "Head Hunger"

... A seductive curl of steam rising from the plate 
... Small yellow rivulets of butter dripping down the side of creamy mashed potatoes 
... Tempting and crispy browned skin on a fragrant, succulent chicken breast 
... A distant hint of something green? Spinach, green beans?  Something green...whatever.

I'm siting here, thinking about food.  Not bunny food, but "real" substantial food with butter, carbs, etc.  Hmmm....  OMG!  It's just a commercial!  I haven't even had my surgery yet!  ::sigh::

Well, they did warn me that there would be possible reactions to or experiences after weight loss surgery, including a preoccupation with food on television.  For more information about additional reactions to or experiences after having weight loss surgery, see Appendix A under the Appendices tab.


I am definitely entranced when a commercial comes on TV parading some company's delicious foods in front of me every 10 minutes.  It's not even that I feel especially deprived on the partial liquid diet they've put me on.  I am getting plenty to eat, really.  It's just a matter or having been raised in a culture that "Super Sizes" everything, and that celebrates "The late night Munchies" -- constantly!  


My husband doesn't help, either.  Big Bruiser is 6'5" and weighs about 300 pounds.  At the ripe age of 50, he can still eat like a like a teenager - 2 large bowls of cereal at noon, and after diner, 2 great big bowls of ice cream,  a handful of candy, whatever he wants, really.  The fact is, for me losing weight *is* hard.  The sacrifices, the commitment, and the focus that it takes to make the decision to change your lifestyle is significant.  But this is the first time I've been really face to face with my "head hunger," the emotional element to losing weight, and one of the reasons that so many people find weight loss so very difficult.  "Head Hunger" is the psychological part of how we feel about food, and what we think about food.  It is highly personal, and highly individualized.  For me, this preoccupation with food on television and my reaction to the images of food is like an itch that I can't scratch.  I'm really struggling to stay focused and to put all restricted foods out of my head.  I'm eating a medically supervised diet that is considered a partial liquid diet  - high protein to prepare for my GB.  HMR 70+ vanilla and chocolate pudding 4 times a day, high potassium veggies, and 1 high protein lean cuisine a day is the program for me.  Not a lot of food really.  I'd like to point out that I *was* eating a bit more than this before Dr. H. put me on the partial liquid diet.  It's a little humbling when I think bout how much more I was eating before I started a plan of any kind.  The truth is pretty clear:  you have to keep your eye on the ball the whole time while you're getting ready for surgery, and afterward.


I'm trying to stay focused.  I know that a new stomach/new plumbing will force the issue, and the "head hunger" will episodically be worse as I move through the process of understanding what makes me tick, food-wise.  Regardless I'm feeling prepared (for the moment) to fight to good fight, and move forward - despite commercials with fast food that seem to call to me.   


Next time...  Fortune Cookie Therapy