It's starting... "Head Hunger"

... A seductive curl of steam rising from the plate 
... Small yellow rivulets of butter dripping down the side of creamy mashed potatoes 
... Tempting and crispy browned skin on a fragrant, succulent chicken breast 
... A distant hint of something green? Spinach, green beans?  Something green...whatever.

I'm siting here, thinking about food.  Not bunny food, but "real" substantial food with butter, carbs, etc.  Hmmm....  OMG!  It's just a commercial!  I haven't even had my surgery yet!  ::sigh::

Well, they did warn me that there would be possible reactions to or experiences after weight loss surgery, including a preoccupation with food on television.  For more information about additional reactions to or experiences after having weight loss surgery, see Appendix A under the Appendices tab.


I am definitely entranced when a commercial comes on TV parading some company's delicious foods in front of me every 10 minutes.  It's not even that I feel especially deprived on the partial liquid diet they've put me on.  I am getting plenty to eat, really.  It's just a matter or having been raised in a culture that "Super Sizes" everything, and that celebrates "The late night Munchies" -- constantly!  


My husband doesn't help, either.  Big Bruiser is 6'5" and weighs about 300 pounds.  At the ripe age of 50, he can still eat like a like a teenager - 2 large bowls of cereal at noon, and after diner, 2 great big bowls of ice cream,  a handful of candy, whatever he wants, really.  The fact is, for me losing weight *is* hard.  The sacrifices, the commitment, and the focus that it takes to make the decision to change your lifestyle is significant.  But this is the first time I've been really face to face with my "head hunger," the emotional element to losing weight, and one of the reasons that so many people find weight loss so very difficult.  "Head Hunger" is the psychological part of how we feel about food, and what we think about food.  It is highly personal, and highly individualized.  For me, this preoccupation with food on television and my reaction to the images of food is like an itch that I can't scratch.  I'm really struggling to stay focused and to put all restricted foods out of my head.  I'm eating a medically supervised diet that is considered a partial liquid diet  - high protein to prepare for my GB.  HMR 70+ vanilla and chocolate pudding 4 times a day, high potassium veggies, and 1 high protein lean cuisine a day is the program for me.  Not a lot of food really.  I'd like to point out that I *was* eating a bit more than this before Dr. H. put me on the partial liquid diet.  It's a little humbling when I think bout how much more I was eating before I started a plan of any kind.  The truth is pretty clear:  you have to keep your eye on the ball the whole time while you're getting ready for surgery, and afterward.


I'm trying to stay focused.  I know that a new stomach/new plumbing will force the issue, and the "head hunger" will episodically be worse as I move through the process of understanding what makes me tick, food-wise.  Regardless I'm feeling prepared (for the moment) to fight to good fight, and move forward - despite commercials with fast food that seem to call to me.   


Next time...  Fortune Cookie Therapy

OMG! I Have a Surgery Date!

Finally!
So I got the call on from my clinic on Tuesday, 7/13.  Even though I've been hoping, praying, planning, worrying, anticipating, expecting, and was generally filled with angst about it; I was completely surprised and caught off guard when Dr. H's, MA said, “The insurance has given me the go-ahead to get you on the books!”  All I've though about was the surgery.  But when she called me I was completely caught off guard.  How weird is that?

OK, so I'll go to the hospital for surgery on 8/11/10.  A week before,  I have a whirlwind of other pre-procedure stuff to do: I am scheduled to have pre-op labs drawn, the pre-op class, and a final meeting with the nurse practitioner on 8/3/10.  This is the time that they will weigh me for my 'final official weigh-in (although I *could* weigh-in on 8/10/10 if need be - very reassuring news for sure).

Since my official fan club (read family, so far) is using this blog to check in on the latest news, I wanted to review the specific procedure information. According to the Medical Assistant, I'll be having a Roux-en Y Gastric Bypass (pronounced roo -en-why). 

Roux-en Y gastric bypass is a restrictive operation where a small pouch is made at the upper portion of the stomach, which can hold only 1-2 tablespoons in volume. This procedure helps you lose more weight three ways:      

•      I'll eat MUCH less or it will come back up. The food has no choice. If you can't eat a lot, you will lose weight.  Period.

•     Apparently my appetite (as well as my taste for sweet things potentially) will actually begin to change. After the procedure, most patients find that their body will not easily tolerate foods that are high in refined sugars and fats. This is called "Dumping Syndrome." Dumping Syndrome is a common side effect after gastric bypass and occurs when the contents of the stomach empties rapidly into the small intestine, especially if I eat concentrated sweets or carbohydrates. The feeling will be a combination of profuse sweating, nausea, dizziness and weakness. "Dumping" is actually a desired side effect of the surgery to discourage one from eating sweets.  Unpleasant.  Approximately 95% post-op Gastric Bypass patients suffer from Dumping Syndrome at least to a degree.      

•      You actually absorb fewer calories. Keep in mind that your body's plumbing is re-worked. After a Roux-en Y, food bypasses part of your small intestine and digestion occurs in the lower part of the small intestine. This combined with the much smaller stomach, and reduces the amount of calories your body absorbs from the food you eat.

I’d be more fascinated if I weren’t shaking in my boots.  I'm mostly reassured that my pain will be managed, and then I just have to focus of sipping, hydration, walking and staying mobile in the face of (probably) not feeling much like it.


I'm open to comments, reassurance or any other feedback (please).